Well, Well, Well

Hey y'all,

It has been a long time since I have posted anything, in fact over a year!  This blog is not about followers or readers or getting a product out there, it is my escape from loneliness.  Having a computer screen that is always bright and white, willing to listen to me say whatever I want about any topic is comforting to me.  Sometimes I need it and sometimes I don't.  For a little over a year I didn't need it apparently, or I found solace in something else, but now I turn to Felicity for an open ear.

I spend a lot of time sick.  I am not ill I am not dying I just have a crummy immune system and seem to end up in bed with a cold or a flu bug every other weekend.  If its not one thing it's something else.  The weather will warm up and I will twist my ankle the first nice weekend and end up back in bed, stuck, alone, cooped up, bored, yearning to be moving, talking, laughing, yet idle and downtrodden.  I get stuck in my conceited cycle of  self-loathing and personal pity party.

Over the past four weeks the seemingly bed-ridden state of my life has really gotten me down.  I have been glued to Pinterest, livign vicariously through everyone who can go outside and run, who can go in their garden and plant, who can grace their garage and DIY with pleasure.  I have used the inspirations of the pins to promote me to work toward a better lifestyle.  To strive for a healthy weight, a healthy plate, and a strong immune system to fight of illness and grant me a true 'life'. 

My sewing machine is sitting idle as I focus to regain health.  The focus of this blog will shift for a bit.  My dreams and goals for the future will dominate while successful completed projects will take a back-burner for a while.  Previous projects that i have done will pop-up in retrospective posts of course but new material from my hands is few and far between.

I know my life is no more busy or difficult or challenging than any of yours.  In fact it may often be less so, but to each his own struggles and right now, this is mine.

Felicity

 

Friday Funday: Origins

I don't think I ever told y'all where Friday Funday came from.  For about 13 years I was on swim team.  It was a love/hate relationship but all in all I am glad I participated.  Occasionally on Friday the coach would proclaim 'Guess what guys!  It's Friday Funday!'.  Now this could mean one of two things:
1.) We were gonna play water polo, jump off the diving board and have a fabulous two hours of fun OR
2.) The coach was gonna bust our rear ends and give us the hardest workout we have ever experienced or will ever experience in our entire life.  This would stink at the time but in the end we felt stronger, we swam better, and no one can complain with results like that.

That's right, I swam with Leverenz (when I was a wee tot)!

Now that you know what Friday Funday is all about for me I will explain how I plan to make use of it in blog form.
1.)  I will provide a post of stuff I think is fun, inspiring, and brings a smile OR
2.) I will give you the most miserable post to read ever because I feel like complaining.
Yes, I realize that with this in mind you probably have no desire to read the rest of this post but hey, at least I gave you fair warning.

The troubles with this week:
1.) My roommate was at a conference and I was all by myself until Thursday!  I was very lonely and sad.  Now I am very excited she is home and less sad so it did get better, which is good.

2.) I like to run.  I am not good at running, I cannot run far, but I run intervals 3-4 times a week and do other exercises the other 2 days ion a week, with Sunday as my rest day.  Well, I had a really nasty blister on the arch of my left foot.  It popped and was raw which hurt while running but I said 'no pain no gain' and sucked it up.  Now, I have a blister inside the perimeter of the old blister.  I asked my PE professor what I should do, he took a look at it and said it was infected.  SO, guess who's not allowed to do any exercises like running, or elliptical, or things that involve your feet until it heals?  Oh yeah, me.  So basically my entire exercise routine has been killed for the foreseeable future.  After all of that ranting I can attest that it is healing and my foot it feeling better which is really nice because I was in a lot of pain.  I guess every grey cloud has a silver lining.

I know her!!!

3.) I am having the hardest time waking up.  This in itself does not seem like such a bad thing but it is similar to a time when this symptom as it were brought me face to face with a serious health problem so it concerns me.

4.) I'm whining and I hate whining but I am doing it anyway and that bothers me.

If you read all of that you are better than me, I would have quit 4 paragraphs ago!  Well thank you for listening, I feel a lot better having gotten all of that out.

Have a wonderful weekend,

Felicity

Flowers for the Sickie

I went to the doctor about my strep after I was diagnosed because I was itchy all over and getting hives.  Long story short I was having an allergic reaction to something on top of having chronic strep, which apparently means that even when I am feeling perfectly healthy I will test positive for strep and the bacteria will live with me for eternity, whoopee!  Not.

I should have asked if I was contagious 24/7 but I forgot.  In my sad state of sickness Kirsten brought me some flowers to cheer me up, and now that I'm feeling better, I present to you, the Flower Shoot:

I love me some flowers!

Felicity

My life

I have strep for the third time in the past month.  I google image searched strep throat to see if there were any pictures to share my misery.  They were all really disgusting.  Please don't google strep throat.

Christmas is one week away.  I have so many Christmas pictures I cannot wait to share with you but I just don't feel good enough to go get my camera and download them.

May God bless your week as Christmas draws near,

Felicity

The Thanks of Late

I hope y'all had a wonderful Thanksgiving!  I spent the day sleeping in my bed or on the couch.  Not what I was planning on for Thanksgiving day but I was much more aware of how blessed I am; that my momma spent the whole day taking care of me, that I had a roof over my head, a bajillion warm blankets, a lazy dog to sleep with me, and all of the drugs the pharmacy would give me to combat this second strain of strep.

This Thanksgiving my list of what I'm thankful for is much different than in previous years but still sincere.  I ma thankful for cough drops,

disinfectant wipes,

tea, and honey.

It is a great thing that I celebrated Thanksgiving early in the week with great friends and delicious food.  I even made my very first pie, all by myself, from scratch!  Each step made the pie look more yummy!

This group of friends made a feast to remember!

Off to practice!  It's a good thing I am playing at church today, because my throat is still too sore to sing!

Thanks a bunch,

Felicity

Strep

I have strep throat.  Please avoid me for at least 24 hours.

Thank you,

Management

GRR

Guess who's throat hurts again?  That's right, mine.  I am whining to the world - I AM TIRED OF BEING SICK!!!!!!!!!!!!!
It's a good thing this is not a vlog because I am incapable of yelling right now because my throat is good and sore.  I love that caps lock can capture my feelings so perfectly at this moment when my vocal cords cannot.

Good day,

Felicity 

Tears

Yesterday I was down in the dumps.  I was sick, I was disappointed in myself, I thought I was a failure, and I cried.  I was hoping that after crying it out, talking to my momma, talking to my roommate, blowing my nose and eating some pumpkin bread I would get this negativity out of my system but I didn't.  It just didn't go away.  This morning I woke up, sore throat and all, and the first thing I thought of was the reasons I thought myself a failure.

My loving friends and family assure me that I am not a failure.  They ask me 'Do you know you are not a failure' and I always sniffle 'Yes' but I just can't seem to shake the feeling.  What I am beating myself up over is adiaphora, but I seem to take it as a personal attack against me.  I took this event personally when I don't think it was meant as a personal insult at all.  Even with me being aware of all of this my feelings of self worth have not changed.  I am still thinking the same thoughts, beating myself up about all the things I do wrong, even blaming myself for my sore throat and stuffy nose!

I know this is not going to help my Thursday but I was stuck.  I read the verse of the day and the devotion of the day from the links on my blog in hope of some words of wisdom; a devotion catered to my needs at the present time, my way of viewing God speaking directly to me, telling me to get my act together, stop moping and start praising him; but no such luck this time.  The devotion was good, no doubt about it, but it did not speak to me like I wanted it to.  Once again, in my self inflicted misery I took this as a personal attack from God, saying to myself 'self, even God doesn't think your worth helping'.

With this awful mindset I made the rounds of the blogs I look at everyday; TheWiegands, The AZ Russums, I Am Along for the Ride, when I came across a link to this post: http://www.holleygerth.com/heart-to-heart-with-holley/2011/11/4/a-little-way-to-have-a-better-day.html


Please read it, it made me realize that it was not God who wasn't helping me, it was me refusing God's help.  So, with this new mindset in place I am going to strive to have a wonderful day.  Am I now happy and filled with joy?  No, I feel about the same as I did when I started writing this post, but I now know that the only way for me to stop thinking I am a failure is for me to prove to myself I am not, and sitting around moping about the past is not helping me convince myself.  I also know that "I can do all things through him who strengthens me" Philippians 4:13.

To begin to change my mind frame I will make a list of what I am thankful for while blasting good ole German hymns.

I am thankful for . . .

1. The Bible, because without it I would not have a chance of getting out of this slump - along with the law, the gospel, Jesus, his death and Resurrection, salvation; you know, all the other good stuff that comes with the Bible!
2. My momma
3. My supportive, caring, incredibly smart roommate - who listens to me even when I am quite boring, or whiny, or repetitive, or silly
4. The many warm blankets I have piled up on my bed
5. Antibiotics
6. Cowboy boots
7. Bible study and the pastor that leads it
8. Hot Tea
9. Soup
10. Devotionals
11. My brothers and sisters in Christ
12. Socks
13.  . . . and the list goes on and on

Have a sparkling day,

Felicity

New Uniform

It is officially cold.  There is a chill in the air, a sniffle in my nose from biking, and the feel of clean cool air in my lungs.  The winter wardrobe is beginning to see the light and the knits of the season have become my uniform of choice.

I knit my scarf and contemplate how to design my own sweaters in between classes.  Sweaters are my favorite thing to wear when its chilly outside.  What is your favorite cold weather clothing item?

Hugs and Hot Chocolate,

Felicity

Virus

A few days ago I told y'all that my code was compiling; well it turns out that my tired spell turned into a virus that is now being treated with antibiotics, thanks to my early morning doctors visit.  So my code is no longer compiling, it just out and out stopped due to the virus that basically killed it.  As I am telling everyone I see today I am dying; or texting the fact that I am dead to those scarce few who know my dramatic side, such as my momma and my pastor.

There will be no pictures today, no projects to share, nada, zilch, nothin'.  I have a virus so I am dressed like a slob in as many layers of my warm clothing as possible.  I also am not touching any fabric or yarn so as not to infect every object of my house with the cold of death and share the virus with anyone else who handles the stuff.  My room is a disaster zone; every surface is covered in either tissues, medicine, blankets, or all of the above.  My bed is not made, my laundry is not in the hamper, and a variety of shoes and socks littler the floor. 

I am also using this blog post to kill time while I wait for my next class.  I am sure all y'all are thrilled to read such a fascinating blog post and are so entertained by my whining that I will have hundreds of thousands of comments about how my blog is your favorite and it is the best blog you have ever read after being exposed to such a riveting post as this (yes, this is sarcasm for those of you out there who are too much like Sheldon for your own good).  With this droll post already too long I will say goodnight, because it is 2:45pm and I am ready for bed.

Don't let the bed bugs bite,

Felicity